Thomess and the Magic Railroad
by ShutUp321
Summary: another one of my parodies


Chapter 1, Our Number One Hero

As the top of the sun peaked over the hills of Sodor, a stream of train smoke could be seen, gliding along the treetops, and a short, high-pitched whistle echoes through the valley, and the chuffing of a train that the whistle appeared to belong to.

Thom-Ess the tank engine happily rattled along the line, his cyan coat of paint shined in the early-morning sunlight, and a large black ski hat that substitutes for his funnel because his old one got dented in an explosion. And he was spinning his wheels and blowing his whistle in such a hyper manner, that just by one look at him you would know he was very young, the number one was painted in yellow and red paint on his side.

Thom-Ess had six small drive wheels and one coupling rod on each side, he was a rather small engine indeed, and he had a small skinny boiler and two box-like editions to the boiler on each side. His two eyes were quite close together and he had a gap in his teeth.

One thing he didn't completely know is that he was about to save his entire home island.

"Oh dear, I'm late! I must hurry!" He said, right then his wheels gave a short halt and started back up again, "Darn wheel dilemmas, I cannot wait until my scheduled repair." He said as the landscape changed and he got out of the grassy field and into the gravelly town.

He saw a switch-track up ahead and he gleefully swerved into a siding where his coaches were waiting,

"Hello girls." Said Thomess as he gently coupled up to them, then he saw a small black diesel glide past him, "Hello Mayvis."

"Hey Thomess!" Mayvis replied, "Have you seen PercEd around?"

"Um..." Thomess began, "No?" He saw a glint of green behind a few freight cars, Mayvis looked disappointed and rattled away.

"Thank you." Said PercEd as he chuffed out from behind the freight cars.

Thomess noticed he had a piece of wood in his mouth, and he munched on it gleefully.

"Mmm, buttered wood." PercEd said.

"PercEd, what have I told you about eating the track?" Asked Thomess, buffers on his hips.

"Dat dewe awe tewmites in it and twains wheews have been on it." Said PercEd while chewing. "BUT IT TASTES SO GOOD WHEN IT'S BEEN SITTING IN DA WAIN!"

PercEd had a large boiler that was slightly larger than his head and his two eyes were very far apart from each other and even his face, he also had a uni-brow and red hair that just poked out from under his funnel, he had four small drive wheels and two visible pistons, his coupling rods were a silver color that seemed slightly rusted, and he was colored forest green with magenta stripes.

PercEd finished up the last bit of wood in his mouth and swallowed, "Mmm, burns good in the sun."

Thomess sighed and chuffed away, the last thing he heard from the siding was Mayvis exclaiming that she found PercEd and PercEd's pistons pumping as fast as possible.

Half an hour later when Thomess arrived at his destination, he saw the largest and fastest train of them all, Gordon.

Gordon was a bespectacled engine that of which his spectacles were place at the end of his hooked nose, right before his proud, smart face.

"28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 3**3**." He stopped once he heard Thomess' escaping steam at the station platform.

"Good morning, Gordon!" Said Thomess.

"GOOD morning? One of us is 33 seconds late and you call it a GOOD MORNING? And it surely isn't the fastest engine on Sodor!" Gordon scoffed.

"Oh dear, already? My inside clock must be wrong..." Thomess replied.

"You better be careful, Thomess." Gordon warned, "Sir Topham Hat is out on a business trip and there's nobody to take care of us. Not that we can't take care of ourselves of course but that is what I wish to prove!"

"Oh don't worry, Gordon." Said Thomess, "Sir Topham Hat has asked Mr. Catductor to take care of us for the time he is away."

"That psychotic LOLCat? Well I never..." Gordon scowled, he didn't get to finish his _IMPORTANT _rant because they heard the loudest and above all most discomforting scream they has ever heard.

"GET OUTTA MAH WAAAAAY, DORKS!" Said the source.

They got one glimpse of him and it struck more fear into their boilers than they could ever hold, so Gordon spilled some of the contents on the tracks and began rattling.

"I GOT SOME FREAKIN' WORK TO DO AND I GOT TO DO IT FAST OR YOU ENGINES ARE GONNA BE SORRY!" Then he accidentally ran over a perfectly placed sign that had said, 'DEPUTY EDISON ARNOLD TIMOTHY HERITAGE FIVE SECONDS FROM HERE.' But all that was left before 'FIVE SECONDS FROM HERE' was 'DEATH'.

"M-m-m-maybe we do need Mr. Catductor here." Gordon stuttered. "He does make a great tuna souffle and if you sprinkle a bit of mulch on it it tastes divine."

"Oh dear," Said Thomess, "He got Annie and Clarabell all dusty."

"Excuse me." Said Gordon, "But aren't you **TERRIFIED** of Diesel 10?"

"No," Thomess replied, "I am not, he's just a large clanking piece of scrap! He may not be the best sight to see but there's nothing for me to be afraid of."

"So you've NEVER seen his claw?" Said Gordon.

"His what? Pardon?" Asked Thomess.

"...You'll find out, soon enough." Said Gordon darkly.

"...Well, um, goodbye," Thomess replied, "I'm gonna... check on Jammes."

**END CHAPTER**


End file.
